Is a baby sentenced to death in a hospital at birth worthy of being saved by breaking the bank?

by Alyssa | Dec 24, 2020 | Motherhood, Respiratory

I discovered that something was wrong with my baby two months after he was born: a baby should be able to eat and sleep, but my baby’s sleep time is only eleven or twelve hours per day in bits and pieces; he cries while taking milk; I feel that he wants to suck the breast, but when he eats milk, but he cries as soon as he takes milk, the kind of heart-piercing!

At first, I thought it was normal for children to make trouble. If he has any needs, he must express it by crying. Later, I found that something was getting worse by checking on the Internet and consulting a mothers’ group. When he cried, his head and neck were leaned back hard, his chest and abdomen were straightened up, and his body looked tough and uncomfortable in the bath.

My family thought he was suffering from indigestion, and found a doctor in a small clinic to prescribe a small medicine, but it didn’t work after he took it. I accidentally saw on the Internet that this may be the manifestation of hypoxia and high muscle tension, and there were various descriptions of cerebral palsy, which finally made me unable to stand. My whole family took my baby to the local children’s hospital for examination, and I registered a number of the neurology department. After examination, the doctor said that there was nothing wrong with him on the surface, except to strengthen nutrition and so on. Later, my father registered a number of the neonatology department and went to see a doctor. The doctor put the baby on the bed and tried to pull him to sit. It turned out that the baby’s head was hanging back badly, almost sticking to his back. The doctor immediately said: there is something wrong with the baby! ! ! As soon as he spoke this sentence, I almost foresaw my unhappy life with my child! I felt that my life was going to be destroyed, and my child was hopeless, because my ignorance and stupidity had harmed this child’s whole life! This was all my thoughts at that time!

My dad was there and asked him why. The doctor asked me about my pregnancy and the birth of my child. Everything was normal during my pregnancy, but when the baby was born, it was really thrilling. It was too difficult for me to give birth, the umbilical cord wound around the baby’s neck, and my amniotic fluid was turbid. However, the doctor still asked me to try to give birth naturally. As a result, the fetal heart rate dropped to 47 before I was sent for an emergency caesarean section. The baby was taken to the rescue without allowing me a look at it. Only after a while, we heard the crying of the child; The child was not sent to the neonatology department but followed me back to the ward directly. The doctor just told us to let him take oxygen for three days, and then he was discharged from hospital for seven days and went home.

I haven’t heard the saying that “this child lacks oxygen” throughout the process. As it’s the first child, I really didn’t understand it, and I suddenly realized it only when I went to check it! I hate myself. Now that I couldn’t give birth naturally, why should I insist! It’s all my fault!

The doctor said that you were late to treat him, and this situation should have been treated at birth, and then he gave a list of nuclear magnetic examination to check the baby’s brain first! The results showed that the baby’s brain ventricles were widened, leading to developmental delays, poor head lift for two and a half months, poor head control, high muscle tone, low response, easy irritation, not chasing objects or chasing sounds. All in all, there are all kinds of problems!

Later, we went to another hospital to check the baby, but it still reflected the problem of hypoxia, requiring the baby to do rehabilitation training. I strongly demanded that my child be given a brain nutrition injection, and I would give it a try whether it was useful or not. After that, we went through the hospitalization procedures for him and started the road of rehabilitation!

When I got home, I broke down and cried, fearing that I would disturb my baby, and even more afraid that my parents would see me like this. I covered my mouth hard and cried till I had no strength. My husband always comforted me that it wasn’t that serious. In fact, I knew that he was nervous and worried about the child as much as I was!

At that time, no one knew another thought in my heart: I wanted to jump off the 21st floor with my child. I didn’t want my child to become a child with cerebral palsy. I didn’t want him to lie in bed and never get up again. I didn’t want him to be pointed and flouted at for life! I didn’t want my parents being laughed at! But watching the child grow so cute, the little white face would still smile at me, which is really not as bad as the doctor said! How can I give up on him!

At that time, I took the child to get an injection every day to recover, and I couldn’t be happy anymore, but I had to force myself to smile in front of my parents. No one knew how anxious, painful and desperate I was! (The child’s father was on a business trip, I dared not say too much about my feelings, I was afraid that he would be distracted from his work).

Seeing that I was pulling a long face every day, the rehabilitation therapist always advised me that it was not so serious and that the child would be fine, and comforted me to be happy. I said: “I even don’t want him anymore”. Another rehabilitation therapist next to me said “since you don’t want the baby, give it to me. Isn’t this baby nice and lovely?” In this way, he received rehabilitation treatment for almost five months. At home, I pulled him up and found that his head could be lifted with his body by himself. I was so happy that the problem I was most worried about had improved. Later, his forearm also had strength to support his upper body, which made great progress!

He turned over a lot more smoothly than before. He could turn over and back, just like rolling, but he couldn’t control the strength of lying down, looking up, leaning back and looking up too much!

The rehabilitation therapist said that this had been very good, and at least the effect had been achieved, and asked me to keep on and not relax at home! When my family was free, they would also give the child a touch massage, and we would train him for a while almost every day, including passive exercise, massage and talking, so long as we would do anything good to him! About five months later, the baby’s grandfather let the child practice sitting. When it was one day away from six months, we went to give the child a reexamination. The doctor gave a ultrasonographic examination of brain and found that the baby’s ventricle was normal and no longer widened and that there was no longer anything wrong with his brain! This was even happier for me than winning 5 million! The 6-month-old baby would sit independently, and he would sit very straight without help, without falling backward or leaning forward! He was very hard and strong, wasn’t he?

The recovery continued! Later, he got better and better. He could creep forward in seven months and crawl on all fours in eight months. His advanced development also stunned his rehabilitation therapist, who told me the truth, saying that when we came, the child he took over was seriously ill, but he didn’t expect the baby’s recovery speed to be the most amazing, reaching the normal baby’s development level, even ahead! His words gave me great comfort, and I was no longer as unhappy as before, but cheered up and gave my baby the best company!

Almost nine months later, the baby could stand on his feet. I prepared a fence for him. He liked to crawl around inside, holding the fence and walking slowly. During this time, we still went to receive rehabilitation training every day. After ten and a half months, the baby could walk. When the adults hold him with one hand, he could walk around in the living room. It’s great! It is known that some normal babies may climb only after ten and a half months. For this problem baby, it is really hard to develop to this degree!

Later, the weather became colder and colder, and the rehabilitation therapist said we could go there once every two days. We followed up examinations every month, and all kinds of reflexes in his development were normal. What should have disappeared disappeared, what should have appeared also appeared, and the problem of muscle tension slowly returned to normal!

In fact, he said that we could continue to receive rehabilitation training or stop it. I wanted him to continue to receive treatment until he was one year old, and just regarded as early education. Eleven and a half months, he was completely out of the intervention of adults, could walk a few steps independently! Finally, I could show my baby in my circle of friends, and feel much better!

Before my child recovered, I disappeared from my circle of friends for a long time. No one knew what happened to me, and I didn’t want to talk about it, so few people knew that my child was sick!

Now the child is three years old, very smart, lively and lovely, and speaks clearly and fluently, just like a normal child. I want to say that I am very grateful to the child for his strong will, and he cured me! It was he who rekindled my passion for life!

I don’t explain the topic too much. I just want to share my experience. No matter what others do, you should weigh your abilities before giving birth to a baby. It is best to be able to give birth naturally and safely; if natural delivery doesn’t work, direct cesarean section is good for both yourself and your child! 

Conscience advice from an ignorant first-born mother!

I didn’t expect that my casual answer would arouse so many resonances, and I really appreciate everyone’s heartfelt blessing to this baby and to our family ~ (What I wrote may only be understood by parents, there is no purpose or deception, and it is really pure sharing. )

In any case, a child’s health is the most important and happiest thing for a family. At that time, I was willing to trade everything I had for my child’s health, including my own life.

During that time, I repeatedly thought, if I was not rescued because of postpartum amniotic fluid embolism, could I get my child’s health back? I strongly wished that the child would not grow up so quickly, just keep the status quo, and not experience the fate of being looked down upon when growing up; meanwhile, I wished that he would grow up quickly and recover; as a mother, I was such a contradiction, living in remorse and pain every day…

However, the reality was always pushing me to keep moving forward, step by step; later, I devoted myself to his rehabilitation, and checked his development every month. If he failed to meet the standard, I would respond to the rehabilitation therapist in time and communicate what to do next. I’m afraid I did more homework than I prepared for the college entrance examination during that time. The rehabilitation therapist always said: “you know a lot.” I smiled bitterly and God knows how I lived every day…

I dare not share these contents until my baby is well. Some people say that I am great, but being a mother is tough. I’m not great at all but ashamed, because I almost seriously harmed my own child. I don’t deserve to be a mother.

However, I thank my child for giving me another chance to make up for him. Last night, he said before going to bed: I like my mother, I love my mother ~ This little angel really lies beside me so intact, and perhaps this is the truest and happiest thing for me in the world ~ ~ ~

Well, thanks again to those kind friends who care about us. I have carefully read every comment. I really appreciate your blessings and wish you a happy family. It’s most important for a family to be healthy and tidy, isn’t it? ! ! !

At the end, I attach two recent photos of my baby ~

He is mischievous now, and who would have thought that his life was on the line?

Alyssa

Personal Healthcare Expert. MS in Sleep Apnea & Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, Johns Hopkins University.